What if?

So I have been thinking a lot about our mortality lately. The main reason is because I have been following this little boy's story on his family's blog. He has courageously battled Leukemia for the past couple of years and last month was going through his last treatment when the doctors found out that his cancer had returned and that it was resistant to treatment. He is only 7. He only has several days to months to live. So my question is what if your child was dying? What would you do with your last moments with them? How would you live your life? I can't imagine the pain this family must be going through. You try to live your life as if there is no tomorrow but it is hard to when life happens. I am happy that this family has the gospel and knows what is on the other side. How tragic would it be to not believe that there is life after this. I feel comforted in what Joseph Smith said about those who die young
“We have again the warning voice sounded in our midst, which shows the uncertainty of human life; and in my leisure moments I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why it is that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. The strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these: This world is a very wicked world; and it … grows more wicked and corrupt. … The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again"

Happily Ever After

I had the wonderful opportunity to go to girl's camp this past week. I was very stressed about going because I had originally planned to take Gen with me. I was worried about whether or not she would be warm enough, whether she would just cry the entire time, and how she would handle sleeping somewhere other than her bed. The Sunday before we left my husband mentioned to me that his parents had offered to take Gen if I needed them too. To tell you the truth I hadn't even thought about leaving her with someone else. When he mentioned it to me I had an overwhelming feeling that this is what I needed to do. I felt that I needed to go without Gen and to devote all of my time to the Young Women.

It was a hard decision for me because I am a habitual worry-wart. I have a hard time relying on others because I am most comfortable with doing things myself and not letting others do things for me. I finally decided that I would leave her with my in-laws and go up and come back for the night at least on the first night. I am glad that I did this because I really got to know the girls better and to be involved in what they did because I didn't have to worry about taking care of Gen.

The theme for this year's girl's camp was Happily Ever After. The stake directors really made it a wonderful experience for the girls by reminding them that we are all princesses of our Heavenly Father. I thought the theme was so fitting and it let the girls realize their divine nature in Heavenly Father's plan. It helped me to remember that as women we have such a beautiful purpose on this earth to be wife's and mothers so that we can one day be able to be queens of our own worlds. Our theme song was such a beautiful song and I immediately fell in love with it when I first heard it. It is the song by Jenny Phillips "Happily Ever After"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqWKuq510pI&feature=player_embedded#at=95.

Here are the lyrics
Once upon a time
A child was born into this life
Heaven could be seen in her eyes
There was no doubt she was divine
And if you are still you will feel the truth
That the princess in this wondrous story is you

[Chorus]
It’s your time
It’s your destiny to shine
So arise
Be true to the royal
That’s inside of you
Don’t settle for the story that
The world would have you write
You were born to reach eternal life
Let faith fill every chapter
Let the Savior lead you to
Happily ever after

Sometimes in your life
The world will cast a spell
And try to make your conscience fall asleep
And forget the woman God would have you be
But if you are still you will understand
The noble role you play in his plan

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
When the forests fills with darkness
And wolves seek your soul
Just know
You are simply in the place between
Your once upon a time and your triumph in the end

[Chorus]

I hope that Gen will one day realize her wonderful potential in this gospel. I would just like to share my testimony for everyone. I know that this is the only true gospel restored to this earth by our prophet Joseph Smith. I know that Christ is our Savior and that he attoned for our sins so that we may be able to return to our Heavenly Father if we but keep his commandments. I know that the covenants that we promise to our Heavenly Father in the temple will help us to be able to one day return to him and be able to be queens and kings in our own worlds. Thomas S. Monson is a true prophet of God and he truly speaks with the Lord and receives counsel from him. I know that we as women are truly daughters of our Heavenly Father and that he knows and loves us as his children. He is always there for us if we turn our hearts to him. Amen

This was an amazing experience to be able to go and celebrate our wonderful heritage as daughters of our Heavenly Father.

Dear

Dear friend,

If you read my last post I am sorry that you had to endure all that emotion. At the time I was just poring out my heart but after I went back and reread it tonight I realize that I maybe should have edited it so that all you who are diligent blog stalkers of mine who don't know me too personally didn't have to endure such harshness. Right now I am basking in happiness and I would love to tell you all about it but I will have to wait till another time and until a certain someone tells me it is alright to mention them. You see tonight the before mentioned friend called to talk to me because she had read my blog and she knew that she was the friend I was talking about. We had a marvelous conversation that lasted 1:21:15. Some of the best 1:21:15 that I have spent in my life. I think we may have our relationship on the mend :). Let me be the first to let you know that I have good friends. I thought I would write them a letter and let them know some wonderful things about them. I also wanted to give this certain someone a hint of what is about to come.

Dear certain someone friend,

I felt bad that I had to hang up with you so fast. I probably could have spent the whole night talking to you. I thought it was pretty hilarious that you felt that I should in nowise take what you said to me as a reason to become bestest best friends with you again. If anything it made me want to even more. Today had not been the greatest day for me I must say because I wasn't feeling too well, I was doubting my mothering skills, and I didn't know why the Lord had felt that I could handle this new calling he had given me. When you called I was ecstatic and I felt the spirit of the Lord come over me and I felt as if some patches were sewn over my wounded heart. I just wanted to let you know that I love you and am truly sorry that you are going through a rough time in your life and I can't be there right this second to help you out. Here is a letter to you to hopefully tide you over till the next time we talk. Here are a few of the things that you have missed and would love to tell you about in greater depth.
1) Jeremiah. I don't know if you remember but he actually set Eric and I up and is the reason we are now married. He's still not married. Any surprise? Thought not. *now that I say this watch he'll bring home a wife*
2) Gen scared me to death when she was first born because she didn't have that gut wrenching cry you hear on all those movies and medical shows. I was convinced that she had come out dead until she was laid in my arms and looked up at me with those big eyes of her almost saying "what is all the commotion? I'm here." I still didn't get to hear her first cries until the middle of the night after she was born.
3) My dad came to visit when Gen arrived. It was...nice. I don't know there were a lot of hard feelings about it when he was here but I have come to realize I enjoyed his visit.
4) I have experienced a lot of firsts since you were gone. First nosebleed(while pregnant), first charly horse(also while pregnant! gosh why didn't people tell me how painful they are), my engagement, my marriage, Gen's birth, first really embarrassing moment(right after Gen was born and while my brother and Dad were visiting. Needless to say it involved milk and a shirt), and first college graduation (I was going to ask you about whether or not you had walked this last spring. I looked for your name in the book but didn't find one. I was very disappointed).
5) I really wanted to ask you to be one of my bridesmaids along with our other roommate, Heather, and Randi. Since our relationship was on the rocks I was scared that you would
laugh in my face and scorn me. I did the only logical thing and didn't have any. (I hope you don't feel bad about this but I wanted to let you know that I really considered it and I probably should have ten we might not have been in this mess).
6) I also have some things I regret that I did after we parted ways (for maybe a millisecond I tried to tell myself that I shouldn't regret my actions because I had made a conscious decision to make them and that I just needed to learn from them and move on. I learned that this was not the case you need to have regrets because otherwise you don't remember what you did wrong and you didn't grow spiritually).

7) This was something I found that I thought would be humorous to you to. Did you know that this toy company came out with a breastfeeding doll. I could understand some of their logic behind making it, but really? I understand that breastfeeding is considered to be the better of the two options but I just don't see people running out and buying this toy. They also made mention that it was both useful for both boys and girls. Now come on could you imagine buying one for your son to play with? On the other hand the Le leche League would be proud.

8) Eric and I want to go to Brazil when they are hosting the Olympics in 2016 (You and Gabe should come with us)

9) I am trying to learn Portuguese but am struggling to do a program on my own. Do you want to take a class with me at SLCC if they offer one?

I would go on and on but I need to go to bed. Hope you have a better week. Talk to you soon.

-Me
P.S. Sorry about the novel

Anne,
You have become a great friend to me and I really love our chats. I am sorry that you have to go through the trials that you are going through. Know that I love you and am always there for you when ever you need it.
1) Thank you for always being there for me whenever I needed you. Thank you for the subway sandwich and your visit to the hospital. Thank you for asking for help when I couldn't do it for myself. Let us beat this trial of yours, yes?
2) When I first started getting to know you I didn't think that I could ever be a close friend with you. It just didn't seem like we had much in common. You have proved me very wrong. I am very glad of it.

I'll see you tomorrow...or more like today to go shopping. We'll definitely have some great fun at girls camp with the young women.

-Me

Amber,
Thank you for all your support since I had Gen. It is really nice to have friends who are in the same boat as you.
1) Thank you for all your advice
2) Please let us get together sometime and become better friends. Yes?

-Me

Sorry for the long post if you made it this long.